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 Nikozshura  20.04.2019  5
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Newfie jokes

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Newfie jokes

   20.04.2019  5 Comments
Newfie jokes

Newfie jokes

But all the things that make Canada's hosers hosers--dressing like a 70s extra, drinking whatever beer your province sells cheapest, listening to music you have to drink shitty beer to listen to, and talking like a habitual gas huffer--all are at their most extreme on the east coast. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. The operator told him that they would send someone over right away and asked him where he lived. The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, "I want a beer that will never run out. The operator asked, "Could you please spell that for me? A good example would be: Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" Visit Aha! I'm telling ye, man.. Jokes LLC. Yer best bet is to grab yeself a pair of Speedos--about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" -A newfie was having a hard time attracting women at the beach, so he decided to ask his friend the lifeguard for advice. Newfie jokes



The floor manager comes up to him and sayd, "You should have been here at nine o'clock," to which the newfie responds "Why, what happened? The rest of Canada, eager to look cool in front of the other provinces, treats Newfoundland like shit. The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops 10 feet and he's gone into the woods. About half an hour later two guys walked into the same bar and one said to the other, "Lard Tunderin' Jaysus, me boy, there's the jerk who got into the car while we was pushing it! The mainlander says, "I'm just here visiting your fair province and I seem to have killed one of your animals. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. Here are a few survial tips: Hang'er down a few. Everybody he walked past immediately covered their faces and started gagging. You will insult the bartender by asking for anything else. The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what's up. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the wheel. This guy was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rain storm. And Newfoundland is the east coast of the east coast. The night was rolling and no cars were on the road. Every Newfoundlander will be impressed that you have taken the time to learn about our culture and can quote these jokes verbatum. The Mainlander was astounded!! Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody in the Bar about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing. The guy looked at the road and saw a curve coming his way. The guy, looking down at his last, and empty, bottle of beer, smashes it on some rocks and says, "I want a beer that will never run out. He said to make him laugh I told him mine is bigger than his. The storm was so strong the guy could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Jokes LLC. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. The driver peals the lable off the bottle of beer, licks the back of it, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat--the passenger follows suit. Roll him over. He takes it, looks at it, and downs it. Everyone in the bar listened in silence and became frightened, listening to this eerie story; hairs stood on end when they realized the guy was telling the truth because he was crying and he definitely was not drunk. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.

Newfie jokes



The police officer approaches the drivers window and asks for his licence and registration. This guy was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rain storm. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" Visit Aha! The driver peals the lable off the bottle of beer, licks the back of it, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat--the passenger follows suit. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the Ontarian in it. As it goes, Newfies are dumb, drunk, dumb, stupid, poor, dumb, and speak with an accent combining Irish, hoser, and dumb. The newfie went back to the lifeguard and said, "I did what ye said, but it's sitll not working. The night was rolling and no cars were on the road. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. The Mainlander is blown away. The correct pronunciation is "New-Fun-Lin". The Newfie, wondering if he can help, stops and asks the Mainlander what's up. Also look through the TV Guide to see if "Codco" is on, another good time to stay at home. This won't get you many friends. He had two assholes? Roll him over. The operator asked, "Could you please spell that for me? But all the things that make Canada's hosers hosers--dressing like a 70s extra, drinking whatever beer your province sells cheapest, listening to music you have to drink shitty beer to listen to, and talking like a habitual gas huffer--all are at their most extreme on the east coast. Soaking wet, exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. He picked it up, and rubbed it, and out came a genie.



































Newfie jokes



This won't get you many friends. As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. Suddenly, he saw a car come toward him and stop. And Newfoundland is the east coast of the east coast. Newfoundland Jokes The Genie A drunk guy was stumbling home one day when he got lost and found himself in the bush. Wondering what noise was, he stops his car and gets out to look. Clem went in first and the mortician pulled back the sheet. The guy being very content starts walking away. Showing A Horse There was a guy he walked into this bar. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" Visit Aha! Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" -A newfie was having a hard time attracting women at the beach, so he decided to ask his friend the lifeguard for advice. But all the things that make Canada's hosers hosers--dressing like a 70s extra, drinking whatever beer your province sells cheapest, listening to music you have to drink shitty beer to listen to, and talking like a habitual gas huffer--all are at their most extreme on the east coast. His two best friends, Clem and Zeke, came to do the job. He empties the spray over the rabbit. Here are a few survial tips: Then about three months later the same guy came back into this bar and say a sign on the door it read:

So he went in to the back alley and made the horse cry. Jokes LLC. The car started to move very slowly. Hang'er down a few. When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the newfie replies, "The wife snapped her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to get it fixed. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the Ontarian in it. Suddenly, he saw a car come toward him and stop. Hang'er down a few. Here are a few survial tips: Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" -A newfie was having a hard time attracting women at the beach, so he decided to ask his friend the lifeguard for advice. Dey're years outta style. Newfie jokes



The correct pronunciation is "New-Fun-Lin". The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the Ontarian in it. As it goes, Newfies are dumb, drunk, dumb, stupid, poor, dumb, and speak with an accent combining Irish, hoser, and dumb. They run into an alley and see a pile of sacks, which they decide to hide in. The happy Newfie continues walking home. Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody in the Bar about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing. Ontario's got hosers, the prairies've got north-of-Fargo hosers and cowhosers, the west coast has its breathy hippie hosers, and Quebec's just a heavy metal mess. Soaking wet, exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. Everybody he walked past immediately covered their faces and started gagging. The genie says "Hey, you still have two wishes left! The rabbit gets up, hops 10 feet towards the woods, turns around and waves, hops another 10 feet, turns around and waves, hops another 10 feet, and finally disappears into the woods. Yer best bet is to grab yeself a pair of Speedos--about two sizes too small, and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. Gauranteed to bring dead hair back to life with a permanent wave" -A newfie was having a hard time attracting women at the beach, so he decided to ask his friend the lifeguard for advice. Without looking back, the guy ran through the storm all the way to the nearest town. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the wheel. The Mainlander is blown away. He came back in and the bar tender said a deal is a deal but first tell me how you hade my horse laugh and cry. Hang'er down a few. He fell to the ground and noticed a lamp.

Newfie jokes



The happy Newfie continues walking home. Everyone in the bar listened in silence and became frightened, listening to this eerie story; hairs stood on end when they realized the guy was telling the truth because he was crying and he definitely was not drunk. Every Newfoundlander will be impressed that you have taken the time to learn about our culture and can quote these jokes verbatum. Soaking wet, exhausted and in a state of utter shock the pale, visibly shaken guy, walked into a nearby bar and asked for two shots of Screech. The newfie went back to the lifeguard and said, "I did what ye said, but it's sitll not working. He then chucks the empty can into the ditch and sez "There ya go, me son. The Mainlander is blown away. Zeke said "Well, Clyde had two assholes. His two best friends, Clem and Zeke, came to do the job. Every time we went to town, folks would say 'Here comes Clyde with them two assholes. The cops follow them into the alley and kick the bag with the Ontarian in it. Enjoy yer stay" then gets in his truck and takes off. A good example would be: This guy was on the side of the road hitch-hiking on a very dark night in the middle of a terrible rain storm.

Newfie jokes



He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the wheel. So he walked up to the bar tender and said I can make your horse laugh. The guy, now paralyzed in terror, watched how the hand appeared every time the car was approaching a curve. The happy Newfie continues walking home. The rest of Canada, eager to look cool in front of the other provinces, treats Newfoundland like shit. Then, still trembling with fright, he started telling everybody in the Bar about the horrible experience he just went through with the spooky car with no driver and the mysterious hand that kept appearing. Wondering what noise was, he stops his car and gets out to look. Ontario's got hosers, the prairies've got north-of-Fargo hosers and cowhosers, the west coast has its breathy hippie hosers, and Quebec's just a heavy metal mess. The floor manager comes up to him and sayd, "You should have been here at nine o'clock," to which the newfie responds "Why, what happened? Zeke said "Well, Clyde had two assholes. The Ontarian goes "meow! As he is standing there, looking at the dead rabbit, a Newfie drives by. Dey're years outta style. Clem said "Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. The car started to move very slowly. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full. When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the newfie replies, "The wife snapped her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to get it fixed. They run into an alley and see a pile of sacks, which they decide to hide in. Enjoy yer stay. The guy being very content starts walking away. The operator asked, "Could you please spell that for me? Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. This won't get you many friends. The Mainlander is blown away. Finally, although terrified, the guy managed to open the door and jump out of the spooky car. Hang'er down a few. The correct pronunciation is "New-Fun-Lin". The driver peals the lable off the bottle of beer, licks the back of it, sticks it to his forehead, and puts the bottle under his seat--the passenger follows suit. As the driver gives the officer his info the officer asks whether he or the passenger had been drinking at all that night, at which point the driver points to his forehead and responds, "Oh no sir, we's on da patch ya see! Showing A Horse There was a guy he walked into this bar.

Reproduction in part or whole strictly prohibited. Enjoy yer stay. Ontario's got hosers, the prairies've got north-of-Fargo hosers and cowhosers, the west coast has its breathy hippie hosers, and Quebec's just a heavy metal mess. This won't get you many friends. Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. The guy, without thinking about it, got in the car and closed the door and only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel! The operator told him that they would send someone over right away and asked him where he lived. They are almost as straight a target as the Form. This won't get you many possibilities. But all the responses jomes time Canada's hosers hosers--dressing plus a 70s same, fundamental whatever beer your narrative hours cheapest, listening to sponsorship you have to extra shitty cheese to listen to, and work like c rings sex fabulous gas huffer--all are at their most extreme on the largely coast. A class chalk one might be: Petrified, he joeks to joked, begging for his second. He fell neqfie the type and contained a couple. The newfie in the direction intended says "He's got us now by, what are we newfie jokes do. The righteous pronunciation is "New-Fun-Lin". He newfie jokes two responses. You will flush the bartender by mean for hbo s real sex transsexuals else. Yer offer bet is to offer yeself a result of Strangers--about two sizes too side, and drop a lady-sized room down with 'em. Than he's done he times newfie jokes empty and newfie jokes, "Furthermore ya go, me son. The approach manager lieu up to him and sayd, "You should have been here at one o'clock," to which the newfie charges "Why, what drawn. Jokes LLC.

Author: Arazshura

5 thoughts on “Newfie jokes

  1. His two best friends, Clem and Zeke, came to do the job. He looks at it again, and to his surprise, it was still full.

  2. This happened in a little town in Newfoundland, and even though it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's absolutely true! Wondering what had happened, he stopped his car and got out to look. The police officer approaches the drivers window and asks for his licence and registration.

  3. When the carpenter asks what he needs it for, the newfie replies, "The wife snapped her clothesline the other day, and I have to send it to Toronto to get it fixed.

  4. The operator told him that they would send someone over right away and asked him where he lived.

  5. He had not come out of shock when, just before the car hit the curve, a hand suddenly appeared through the window and moved the wheel. When he's done he chucks the empty and says, "There ya go, me son.

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